I am an Introvert

For Christmas, Greg gave me a book called Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World that Can't Stop Talking. Not that I needed a book to help me discover this part of my personality. It's been my constant companion these twenty four years. I found the book encouraging and inspiring. I recommend it if you are or know an introvert.

One of the primary things that I took away from reading this book is the challenge to stop viewing my introverted nature as something to be ashamed or guilty of. Being married to a man who is more extroverted than myself, finding balance in our lives between "going out" and "staying in" has been somewhat of a struggle these past two and a half years. While there is nothing wrong with challenging my nature, I also want to learn how to be comfortable with who I am. For me, this means scheduling time into my week to rest my way. It also means communicating more openly with Greg about how I'm feeling, so there will be fewer teary moments and last minute cancellations of social plans. Without guilt.

Another idea the author talked about is finding your "sweet spot": the right balance between challenging and accepting your nature that makes you feel the most alive. It includes things like relationships, hobbies and career choices. This has got me thinking about what kind of career would make me feel alive. For most of my life, I felt called to be a missionary. I spent four years of my life, including a practical internship, to prepare for this. And I can tell you I've never felt more physically, emotionally and spiritually exhausted. I wouldn't characterize my time in Mexico as "thriving", but rather "surviving". Currently, I am an English teacher in Korea. While I enjoy spending time with kids, the constant social interaction leaves me tired by the time I leave school. I guess what I mean by telling you this is that I am starting to seriously question my life goals. I no longer feel confident about where my life is heading and it scares me.

Anyway, I've had a hard time finding the right way to end this post. This experience in Korea has given me lots of time and opportunities to think and do some good self-work. Learning to embrace my introverted nature and find a balance in our marriage are two of the areas I/we've been growing in.